Is it Friday?

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do it doesn't matter? Sometimes I feel sad because I try so hard and no one seems to show me the same love in return. I listen to complaining, gripping, whoa is me and yet when I am upset then who cares. Maybe that isn't the case but it sure does feel like it. I shouldn't complain because I am so happy with my family yet so sad. Today I wanted to buy my daughter a dress and my oldest said I shouldn't do it because she would get upset! Isn't that ridiculous! I just wanted to show her love and do something nice, but it would upset her. I am so confused, I should worry about them getting upset and tiptoe around everyone else's feelings, but I don't get the same in return, really! I think about how mean and devilish their father was and how he never cared. Maybe I am just beating a dead horse. Don't get me wrong I love my children so much, but feel like I get taken advantage of, maybe I am just whining today. Behavior is learned and I don't care who you, but I see the negative in my beautiful daughters and know it is from their father, but I am the one who should set a better example. But how? I already bite my tongue, but I do display unhappy feelings from time to time. I need to be more open and not worry about the leaving me. I guess I lost them once so it is hard to be open because I don't want to lose them again. I hope they know how much I love them, and only want our love to be stronger and our relationship to be stronger. If nothing else it felt good to get this off my shoulder.