tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19073582272868967122024-03-08T16:02:48.865-08:00My Life!Beanygirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18176637848410402009noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907358227286896712.post-82839801605448052512011-10-07T19:28:00.000-07:002011-10-07T19:28:55.262-07:00Is it Friday?Have you ever felt like no matter what you do it doesn't matter? Sometimes I feel sad because I try so hard and no one seems to show me the same love in return. I listen to complaining, gripping, whoa is me and yet when I am upset then who cares. Maybe that isn't the case but it sure does feel like it. I shouldn't complain because I am so happy with my family yet so sad. Today I wanted to buy my daughter a dress and my oldest said I shouldn't do it because she would get upset! Isn't that ridiculous! I just wanted to show her love and do something nice, but it would upset her. I am so confused, I should worry about them getting upset and tiptoe around everyone else's feelings, but I don't get the same in return, really! I think about how mean and devilish their father was and how he never cared. Maybe I am just beating a dead horse. Don't get me wrong I love my children so much, but feel like I get taken advantage of, maybe I am just whining today. Behavior is learned and I don't care who you, but I see the negative in my beautiful daughters and know it is from their father, but I am the one who should set a better example. But how? I already bite my tongue, but I do display unhappy feelings from time to time. I need to be more open and not worry about the leaving me. I guess I lost them once so it is hard to be open because I don't want to lose them again. I hope they know how much I love them, and only want our love to be stronger and our relationship to be stronger. If nothing else it felt good to get this off my shoulder.Beanygirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18176637848410402009noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1907358227286896712.post-57483637527238482242011-07-19T20:51:00.000-07:002011-07-19T20:51:56.240-07:00New StepWell this is new! I am taking my first step in writing how I feel and this is called blogging. For all you advid bloggers this is new for me and hopefully a good outlet. See tonite I decided to find my daughters blogs and see what lies heavy on her mind. I am lying here in my bed not able sleep and it is almost midnight. I guess my greatest reason for not sleeping is I worry. I love my children, but I worry about them. Don't get me wrong they are very self-sufficient and don't really need me to worry because they are so much smarter than I was. I wish I could get back the last 6 years of my life. But anyways moving on, I want these moment I have to last, I so love my girls. I am that weird mom that enjoys her girls living in the same house. Things are a little tougher now because my husband and I are trying to make a small difference in the world by helping children. I feel like I am being pulled, I mean I don't want my girls to think they have been replaced, I feel we just added on. I guess I am just rambling but I think that is the point of this, right? I guess my point to my first blog is I have missed my girls and I love them and don't want them to ever leave again. Many aren't as lucky to have the connection and love we have! Enough of my whining, I am going to try an actually get some sleep, early day tomorrow! Good luck with making any sense of this!Beanygirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18176637848410402009noreply@blogger.com0